Father's Love

I have been working way too much the past couple of weeks. It has been taking precious time away from the family. I mean, we need me to get overtime, but since Grey's death, I have been keenly aware of the precious nature of time. I don't want to waste a second with the ones I love. I have been striving to make sure that I don't waste.

All the same I have to do what we need to bring home the "bacon" as they say. I have spent much of my adult life marveling over the stereo-types of our society. The Dad being the "bread winner" and stoic, hard to show emotions type. Dad's not being comfortable caring for the kids, or helping around the house. These things being the Mother's domain, loving and nurturing the kids more, making the kids the people that they will become. Dad's usually messing things up for the kids because of their obsession with discipline, their cruelty. I am struck now, more than ever with the stereo typing of parental roles. I can't tell you the number of times that I have heard; "No Mother should have to bury their child." or "out live their children." It seems our society assumes that the Mother's have more reason and right to grieve the loss of their kids that do father's. Father's don't have the capacity to feel the true depth of true emotions. LOVE is the women's world. not the man's.

I must be honest. This bothers me. A whole lot. People beware! I'm a man, I should be over the grief by now and back to my old self by now. Able to dismiss the grief. I not only cannot, but I WILL NOT! To do so would be like asking me to stop breathing, stop living.

I stand before the entire world as an example to the world of the true nature of a man, father, brother, husband. Fathers adore and love their children In ways that women could never understand. A Mother's love is deep and complete, men have written songs out of respect for it, our society pays homage to it.

Only father's of an exclusive club truly understand what I am trying so poorly to express. And my broken heart aches each and every time that another father pays the membership fee. I would never wish it on my worst enemy.

Father's should never have to endure the pain and guilt that comes with the death of his children.

Never.