My Sweet, Sweet Nicole

As luck goes in this world, I used up every bit that I had coming to me when I won Nicole. That might sound like I'm kissing up, (maybe a little) but it is true. Nicole is perfect for me, the sun to my moon. I never used to believe in soul mates but Nicole changed my mind on that one too. A whole new world has opened up to me since Nicole became a part of my life.

She is strong, funny, infuriating, sarcastic, loving, infuriating, sexy, infuriating, the best Mom in the world, a teacher, a rock, my life.

Her love for her children is amazing. Not that smothering kind of love, that strong, "your okay, shake it off, try again." kind of love. Our boys are so lucky. One day they are going to make wonderful husbands and fathers because of us. (Mostly Nicole)

God Bless her, Nicole misses Grey. As much as I hurt and despair over the loss of our boy, I don't think that a man can ever truly grasp what the loss of a child is like for a mother. And so soon after the start of that new life. My heart aches when I'm holding Nicole and she whispers, "I grew him wrong", Oh! Baby! I would do anything if I could make it easier for her. I just don't know how I can help. I will never stop trying.

The truly amazing thing is that Nicole is still being the caregiver, worrying about the boys, about me, instead of worrying about herself. I think anyone that has been reading my blog would know that I have been more than a little selfish and self- absorbed since Grey's death. Still Nicole does everything that she can think of to reassure me and the boys that we are going to be okay. That is just amazing to me. I don't.... I need to give Nicole that... I have come to realize as of late that focusing on me and even the boys, is not my most important job right now. The boys have both of us. Nicole only has me. Only I can completely understand how Nicole is feeling. She is my priority. She is my life.

She is my wife, and I love her, totally.