Luck?!?

Luck!

We humans are so funny. Quite silly in fact.

We put such faith in the silliest things. Superstitious baseball players that won't clean their batting helmets for fear of bad luck at the plate, to the rituals that we all do to get "luck" for the most trivial of things. Lotto tickets, horse racing, football, you name the sport or pastime, and you find superstition and "LUCK".

You know, Nicole and I have been talking about luck a lot lately. Some of those conversations are of the type that no man or women should ever have to have with a loved one.

I remember when we met with Pastor Mark Simspon on the Tuesday of the week that Greyson died.

"You know that the odds are against you and your marriage surviving this trial intact." he said.

Odds. Luck.

Let me enlighten you on a few things with "Luck" and "Odds".

As many of you reading this know, Nicole and I are carriers for not just 1, but 2, recessive disorders. This means that both of us carry the trait that causes each inherited disease.

The chances of two people having 1 recessive trait, marrying and having children:

1 in 20,000

The chances of two people both having 2 recessive traits, marrying and having children:

1 in 4,000,000

Chances of our children being carriers:

1 in 2

Chances of each of our children having 1 of the 2 recessive disorders we carry:

1 in 2

Odds and luck mean nothing if you are the 1.

I also know something surprising too. Nicole and I are the luckiest parents in the world. I bet that some of you are thinking, "Oh boy! Bill's lost it now! His grief has finally taken over." You might be right, but not for the reason that you think. I mean it! Nicole and I have been blessed in ways that many will never understand.

I don't know that I can explain it, but I will try.

We all go through life wondering if we have ever been truly loved or in love. Some of us get lucky and know this answer. I will raise you one better, we all want to experience unconditional and pure love. Complete trust. Innocence and purity of spirit. Thinking yet?

I know the answer with every fiber of my being. I have experienced pure, unconditional love. I have bathed in the glow of a pure, innocent spirit and been blessed to be loved completely by that spirit.

Greyson was love.

I have spent much time since his death wrestling with some of the old, fundamental questions of human kind. Is this life all that there is? What awaits us after this life? Will we see the ones that we love and have lost again?

I cannot claim to have these answers. Lord knows that even now, even after experiencing God's blessings 4 times over through my children, even after being loved by a pure spirit like Grey, I still have my doubts. Maybe that is the point after all. Maybe that is why we humans forever chase and court.....

"Luck!"