Grey Speaks to Me, I Just Forget to Listen.

This Week has been kicking my BUTT!! Between field trips for the Boys, talent shows, keeping tabs on the legislation progress and little league, I feel like I could sleep for a week. Don't get me wrong, I have loved every minute of it, but WOW! I guess I'm getting old.


Thursday was the last game for Riley and his team, the Astros. All and all it has been a pretty good season. Riley truly loves baseball and gets into it. He had a great game.


Nicole had told me that our friends Mitzi and her husband Clint hoped to meet up with us to introduce us to Mitzi's parents and some friends that had been tracking the progress of Greyson's Law. They were having dinner at the local Mr. Gatti's Pizza and were hoping that we would join them after Riley's game. So we promised to head over as soon as the game finished.

Mitzi and Clint have the most darling little boy. He was born shortly after Greyson was and is just a joy. I have mentioned him in my past blogs. His name is Cash.


I can't explain it. I am just drawn to Cash. Sometimes I worry about offending his parents by the intensity of my emotional connection to him. My bruised and empty heart feels nearly real when I get to see him. Oh, there is the stinging pain of absence but sometimes I can almost feel Grey's presence when I interact with little Cash.



I have found myself very envious of Nicole's ability to see Grey's presence in the little things. A butterfly drawing blowing on the breeze, a song, a pesty bird. I don't have her sensitivity to such things. I have only had one real dream about Grey and of late have been feeling lost and cut off from him by my lack of dreams or sweet flashes of memories not quite forgotten. Just as I had been starting to despair about my lack of connection to Grey,....



He reached out to me though Sweet Little Cash.



When we arrived and made our greetings, I knelt next to Cash and was blessed by a big smile. Just when I thought that Cash was done with me. I turned to respond to his Grandmother's question, and Cash reached back behind him to grab my hand and pulled me back to him. He grabbed my wrist in both of his little hands and then touched my face with his sticky, sweet chocolate covered hands in just the way Grey did before he became symptomatic.

My Grey.

Thank you Cash, thank you for reminding me of this almost forgotten moment so long, yet so short a time ago. Cash, with your piercing blue eyes, I feel that you can see right though me into my soul and that somehow; maybe I'm fooling myself here; connect me to my Sweet Boy.

Cash and his parents will always have a special place in my heart.



Mitzi and Clint, thank you for your sweet, concern and worry about me and Nicole. Thank you from the bottom of my heart for being willing to share your little Cash with us.