9 Months Today. A Story About Our Grey....

It has come.

Today it is exactly 9 months since we lost our beautiful baby boy Greyson William Morris. He would be 6 days away from being 21 months old. It is hard to believe.

Nicole and I have been having a bit of a rough patch.... Well, okay I have been having a rough patch and Nicole has had to suffer along with me. It just gets so hard sometimes.

I have decided that, instead of wallowing in my grief today, I am going to try a new tack. I am going to share our Greyson with all of you. Let those of you that didn't get to meet him get a glimpse of how amazing he was.

I had forgotten about this. Nicole and I were sitting together at the dinner table after the boys had finished their dinners and asked to be excused. We were talking about our days and just spending a few moments together before the next "Mom, or HeyDad!" was uttered. It wasn't long before our conversation turned to the subject of Greyson. I was telling her about a conversation that I had at my dentist appointment.

The subject of God had come up and I found myself talking to this friend about how I know that God exists. Despite the fact that he took our boy, I have no doubts that he exists. It is because I watched the spirit that made Greyson who he was leave his body in my arms when he died. Greyson's spirit was so powerful and bright that you really didn't notice that fact that he was sick. He just didn't look that sick, at least to me. After he died, he just didn't look like my little boy. He looked frail, so SICK.

This is how I now have no doubts that God exists. I have seen the effects of the indomitable human spirit shining out of the most broken of bodies.

Anyway, I got side tracked there. This conversation led Nicole and I to start talking about Greyson's spirit. How he was always so happy, even though Krabbes causes increased fussiness, Grey would only succumb to it rarely until the very end. Nicole, her eyes glistening, and tears welling up, reminded me of moments that I had nearly forgotten.

Greyson, like all newborns spent a lot of time in his bouncy chair, (a reclining seat that bounces) to protect his neck while he developed his head control. Before he started really showing signs that he was ill, at about 5 1/2 to 6 months old, he had gotten enough head control that we started putting him into his highchair for meals. Man OH Man! Was he proud of himself! He just thought that he was BIG STUFF! He would sit there, smiling and playing with us, saying "NO, NO" and shaking his head. When he thought that we weren't paying the proper amount of attention, he would slap the tray top to say "Hey! Over here!!" Look at me guys!

Even now, while I write this, I am smiling. We had some really wonderful times together with him sitting in that highchair. He and I would spend our mornings after Mommy and brothers went to school, talking and playing, smiling and loving life.

Happy times. My most favorite picture that I took of Greyson was in this chair. I call it "Syrup".

The picture shows how alive and bright Greyson was. He loved to eat waffles for breakfast, well, suck the syrup from the waffles anyway. When I took the picture, I was teasing Grey, telling him that he better not spit out the waffle. (He loved the suck out the syrup and then spit the waffle, minus the syrup, out.) The picture captured the beauty of Grey's spirit and smile.

9 Months....

I wonder if they have syrup in heaven?

I Love YOU Big Stuff!