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Saturday, February 21, 2009

Despair......

It has been days since I wrote.

Things have been moving fast & furious. Meetings with people, Hunter's Hope making a PSA, arranging to have it aired, changes to their website in support of our movements toward a vote to expand Texas Newborn Screening........ It has been a very productive and exciting week.

I don't get it....

I don't understand.....

I have been clumping around with an emotional chip on my shoulder, just daring all to even look at me and disturb its precarious equilibrium. Any look of concern, any look of sympathy, or understanding threatening it's balancing act. Poor Nicole.....

When I think of some of my behavior this past week, my heart trembles in shame.

When did I become so ruled by my emotions?
When did I become annoyed by Nicole needing me to be calm and supporting?
When did I start being unable to be patient with my boys when they are sick and whining?

I'm scared....

I should be rejoicing that we are have so much success with all that we have chosen to accomplish, but I'm not.....

Despair.... I feel lost and broken....

What will I feel next? Will I ever be the husband that Nicole deserves and needs? Will my kids be alright?

Despair......

I have a new hat to go with my old worn, comfortable T- shirt.....

Despair......

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