I Did It!

Yesterday was a blur.

It started pretty rough. I didn't feel well when I got up. My broken tooth had gotten worse our good friend who works for our dentist got a message to me that he wanted me to come into the office. But I had been promising Riley that I would go to his class valentine party. So I went to HEB and got cupcakes & went to the party. It was great! Riley does so well at school! I am so proud of him.

After the party I went into the dentist and I wished I hadn't when they informed my that they had to numb me up and open the abscess in my broken tooth. That type of thing is exactly why I hate the dentist. It was Awful!! They had to remove all of the roots and nerves from the tooth because of the inflammation and infection. Even with the numbing, it HURT! I nearly amputated the dentists fingers! I was instructed to take the rest of the day easy. But I had other plans!

Ever since Grey died, I have wanted a memorial tattoo on my chest, where he loved to lay his head and listen to my heart. I have blogged about it before. I have been researching and planning my tattoo design for about a month. I had finally settled on the artist and he assured me that he understood my thoughts and what I wished. So there was no way that I was going miss the appointment that I had yesterday. And I am so glad I didn't.

The design that Christopher came up with was awesome! So much bigger than I had envisioned when he and I talked price. I won't lie! It was brutal! It took almost 3 hrs and the area that I had chosen was much more sensitive than I realized.

The last few days and the pain and sorrow that we as a family experienced kept flipping into and out of focus as I laid enduring the waves of varying intensity and duration of pain. The Monday morning when we noticed a change in Grey; the last time we were able to get him to eat. The Erie, heartbreaking (neuro-cry) that started late on Monday. the feelings of utter helplessness and despair that I felt when I couldn't sooth Grey's fussiness. The anguish and pain in Nicole's eyes, the pain in Seth's voice when he asked why Grey was going to die.....

Grey's beautiful smile and deep, dark pools, that were his eyes. His laugh, kisses and joy of being with us....

I will see all of these things and many, many more when I look at this tattoo.

Grey Grey,

My heart will always have a hole that I will never be able to fill, a part in which you will always live, play and smile. I will always be a little sad and broken hearted when I look at our tattoo, but I will also smile and feel the warmth of your love and spirit!

I love you Little Man, play hard

Love forever, Your Dad.

Ah! Da!