Sleepless Again.....

Well. Here I am again. I got home after work at about 12:45 am. First I unloaded my car and took a shower, then I went about finishing my nursing notes from today's shift and getting all of the ones for this pay period together and packaged for Fedex. I was watching a old movie while I was farting around, not really accomplishing a whole lot. After all, I am VERY nervous and scared about my Root Canal tomorrow!

I had finally finished my work and went to fax my time sheets into the office before sealing the Fedex envelope AND THEN!!!!

All the hairs on the back of my neck stood up on end and chills shot up and down my spine!

Ah! Da!

I've been working too much.

I'm tired and my subconsciousness is making stuff up!

Greyson was learning how to talk just before he started to become symptomatic. He was saying "Da Da" and shaking his head "No No", he would even say "Mama" when Nicole wasn't around to hear.

Speaking was one of the first things that Grey lost after the initial onset of symptoms. He still shook his head "No No" but he only very rarely spoke and then only one word. "Da Da". And it only came out "Ah! Da!".

Each and every time that he said this is seared into my memory. The most memorial was the night before our last appointment with his Neurologist. I was getting ready for work that night and telling Nicole and the boys goodnight as I walked out the door. Grey was very upset and fighting going to sleep in Nicole's arms. He wanted me. He always wanted me.

As I bent down to kiss him goodnight, he blurted out Ah! Da! I think the force with which he said it surprised him as much as it did me, because his face came alive with this huge smile. I called into work and cancelled right then. He drifted off to sleep on my chest a hour or so later.

Did I really hear him?

I know it was his voice. I know it.....

I'm nuts!

Was Grey trying to tell me that he's okay and misses me too?

I wonder.......

Grey Grey,

Ah! Da! loves you too!!!