Phewwww!

Today I feel human.

Yesterday was a blur. I didn't sleep well for one thing, but I also had my root canal done. I had some medicine that I was to take in the car prior to arrival at the dentist. Halicon, I think. Anyway I took them halfway to New Braunsfels to drop off the boys at school and I remember leaving Seth and Riley at their school & then..... NOTHING!

I barely remember being at my personal dentist's office for the crown later, But even that is very fuzzy. I remember the dentist asking me to bite down on the mold & then him crying out in pain and thumping me on the shoulder to let go. I BIT HIM! HA! I finally got some pay pack! Problem is he is the best dentist I've ever been to and the last one I wanted to bite.

He called later last night after I had finally come out of my haze to check on me. I told him how sorry I was about biting him and He laughed. He remarked how funny and amazing the human mind is, He had told me to bite down, but like 4 minutes before I bit him. It took that long for his instructions to make it through the sedative. WOW! Was I out of it!

On another note, it finally HAPPENED!!

I have been waiting so long... Now I'm sorry that its over.... Kind of the way that you look forward to a hot date or a really good steak. Your sorry that you didn't appreciate it more, savor the moment more completely.

I finally went to bed at about 4 Am. I was drooping while I was sitting at the computer. I was still having occasional chills from my experience a few minutes before, still trying to convince myself that it really happened.

Nicole asked me after she woke up if I had been dreaming about Grey. She told me that I woke her up at around 5 Am crying. She couldn't wake me.

This is what I remember. It seemed so real.

I found myself at the door to Grey's room. It was still dark outside, but somehow it was bright under the door. I heard rustling in Grey's room. I was angry, because our cat Blaze has a habit of climbing into Grey's bed. I pushed open the door and Grey was bouncing up and down at the side of his bed reaching for me, that radiant smile and bright eye's glowing. He was moving his mouth and making kisses, but there was no sound.

I reached to pick him up.....

Then he was gone. The room was dark. I was alone.

"I Love You Grey Grey." I whispered.

I don't remember anything else until Nicole woke me up to get ready.