Together.....

Sweet Nicole. She hasn't been sleeping well. Neither one of us are. She dosed off on the couch after dinner while I was helping Riley with his homework. I should have let her sleep! Riley and I moved her into our bedroom and helped her get into her PJ's. Then I got busy helping the boys settle into bed and take the trash out, etc..,etc...

While I was outside with the dogs, trash and a unmotivated teenager, Nicole and Riley snuggled in bed. I really hoped to find her asleep. But nope! She was watching the weather report while Riley slept. While I sat down on the couch with Seth to get him to sleep, She continued to watch TV.

About 45 mins later, Seth was sleeping and I was on the computer. In walked Nicole. Still awake! I instantly saw in her eyes that her thoughts were on Grey just as mine were.

Back just after we found out about Grey's prognosis, Nicole and I spent several nights just holding each other and sobbing together. Each of us taking turns feeling the others heart break and shatter with each shuddering breath. I really am thankful for those times before Greyson was in the throes of his battle to come. Those nights gave me my strength for what was coming, the knowledge that Nicole and I were together and in complete agreement over how to care for and handle Greyson's coming death, life affirming. But it has been 2 months since Nicole and I had shared our pain completely.

Nicole laid down on the couch facing the one on which Seth and I where seated. Then, with tears in her eyes and a jagged breath, She looked at me with pain-filled eyes, and said, " I miss our Grey."

My chest tightened and I couldn't breathe for a moment. For the first time in a couple of weeks, tears stung my eyes.... Our feeling and concerns just flowed after I managed to whisper, "I know, me too baby."

Together...........

We soothed each others fears of forgetting our Little Man. We shared our pain, ... I slowly felt the tightness in my chest subside, I think Nicole felt better, closer to me. I learned that Nicole and I are feeling the same fears, pain and sadness. The distance that I imagined, just that, imagined... Our souls are so made for each other.....

Together..........

Grey, Grey,

Mommy and I love you and are going to take care of each other. I promise. I know that you are proud of your Mommy and so am I. She is incredible and so strong. But we miss you so much.

Love,

Ah! Da!